GET HER TO TRY NEW STUFF IN BED Posted on Friday, May 21, 2010 |

Even if your girlfriend is a regular Macro Polo of bedroom exploration, you probably still have a couple of things on your wish list that you haven't quite worked up the nerve to suggest yet. Here, we tell you the right way to woo her into trying something a little different ….. whithout scaring her off.
Give her an outSometimes chicks are reluctant to try new things because they're afraid of getting trapped in some freaky sex nightmare that they can't get out of. "Many women fell like once the wheels are in motion, they won't be able to turn back if they don't like it," says Gabrielle Morrissey, Ph.D. sexologist author of Urge: Hot Secrets For Great Sex.
Your girlfriend needs to know that she has an emergency exit, so reassure her with something like "If you're not into it, no big deal ---- we'll stop". "Assure her that at any point, she can bring it back to a place where she's more comfortable," says Howard Devore, Ph.D., a sex therapist in San Francisco. And if she pulls the rip cord, back off without argument. If you're cool about it, then she's much more likely to say yes to some of your scadolous suggestions in the future.
Take it one step at a time
Let's say you're looking to explore, um, uncharted territory. Well, if you all of a sudden flip her like a burger, don't be surprised if she's like "Hell, no!" Whatever your goal is, you're going to have to ease her into the idea. "It's much harder to jump from point A to point Z, " says Morrissey. "It's best to introduce an interim step and build on that."
Put your master plan on the back burner for now and experiment first with a move that's halfway to your fantasy – a different position of (if spanking is on the agenda) some light love taps. If she likes it, you can gradually start upping the ante over the next few sex sessions.

Create mystery
As a relationship rolls along, it's easy to fall into a same-old, same-old sexual routine. But you can get back that early dating excitement (and with it, a more open-minded attitude) by re-creating a sense of mystery and intrigue. "Plus, she's more likely to agree to a new move that night if you can generate some anticipation for her during the day," says Morrissey.
For instance, call her that morning and playfully ask, "Are you interested in trying something a little different tonight?" When she presses for details, tell her she'll have to wait and see. She'll be as giddy as a schoolgirl (down, boy!) all day. But use this approach only if the fantasy you want to try isn't too extreme- coming home to an S and M den is probably not what she had in mind.
Get Revved for Great Sex
We know you're a hot-blooded Chiquita whose sexual moves could practically rewire the bedsprings. So when we're talking about getting geared up for action, we don't mean struggling to work up a little lust – we mean priming your body for a mind boggling blow-out experience.
You see, sex, thank God, is one of those things that, no matter how great it already is, can keep getting better and better. And the simplest way to get a bigger bang from your buck is to get yourself in a hotter, more erotic mental and physical state even before that first touch from him. "It takes women longer that men to become aroused, and getting a head start by yourself will light a fire under your libido," says Lou Paget, author of The Big O. "It'll also make the sex you have later more intense." So take a peek at hot ways – from experts and real women like you – to maximize your pleasure prep, then warn your man he's in for the night of his life.

Amp up your fantasizingYou're probably no stranger to conjuring up lusty story line. Now try this passion maxing mental tweak: instead of envisioning your fantasy as a sort of movie, imagine how the scenario makes you feel, suggests Paget. "We associate erotic daydreams with visuals, but for women, often the most potent essence of a fantasy is the emotion it can evoke." For instance, he's peeling off your clothes – dwell on how sexy you feel when he looks at you like you're a goddess.

Worship yourself
"When I want to get turned on, I remind myself just how damn hot I am. I look in the mirror and give myself a bit of praise, whether it's 'These pants make me look smoking" or 'My skin is totally glowing'. By the time my boyfriend shows up, I'm feeling like a complete sexpot!"

Make your pulse pound
Get flushed …….. sweaty……….. panting………. And then start thinking about getting it on. Any activity that raises your heart rate – an energetic walk, a bike ride, a session on the treadmill – is the perfect set-up for sex, according to Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of The Lifetime Love and Sex Quiz Book. "Exercise produces endorphins that make you happy and excited," explains Schwartz. Breaking a sweat also increases blood flow from head to toe-and all sensitive spots in between. The gym a little too unsexy? Then dance in your living room or better yet, do a little burlesque number for him.

Get wet
You know how flushed you become after a shower? It's because the hot water brings blood to the skin's surface, explains Barbara Keesling, Ph. D., author of The Good Girl's Guide To Bad Girl Sex. Besides giving you a beautiful pinkness, that process also happens to increase your sensitivity to touch – a big bonus. So take advantage of the sex – friendly sensation and warm up in a bath when you know your man is enroute or entice him into a steamy shower.

Set a five-star scene

"My boyfriend and I had mind-blowing sex when we were on vacation at a posh hotel. That luxurious feeling was an incredible turn-on to me, so I re-create it at home. I buy champagne, pull out the special 300 thread- count sheets, and sprits on my expensive perfume. Taking in that elegant aura before he comes over totally charges me up."

Do a down-below workout
You've heard of Kegels- contracting and releasing your pelvic floor muscles as if you were peeing and then stopping midstream – but do you ever actually do them? Well, it's time to start because they're true tools for great sex. "Not only do they make you tune in to your physical sensations and focus on that part of you, but Kegels also boost blood circulation down below. Which causes arousal," explains Clifford Penner, Ph.D. a sex therapist in Pasadena, California. And the best news: "Kegels strengthen all of your pelvic muscles, so when you have an orgasm after charging yourself up like this, if will be more intense," explains Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph. D., co-author of sex talk.
Reminisce randily"Go throught your memories of past great sex, and z
ero in on one time that really took you over the edge," says Zoldbrod. What was it that made that romp so freaking great? The gorgeous man you were with? A semi-public setting? That extra teasing foreplay that made your orgasm explosive? "Because it's like a fantasy but it actually happened, your images of it will be especially vivid and will inspire you to incorporate those ultra-pleasurable elements into future events," she explains.

Draw him a map
Sketch an outline of your body, front and back-no art skills needed: just make it look like a gingerbread cookie – then grab some green, yellow, and red markers and colour this body map according to how much you like to be touched in all areas, says Zoldbrod. Green is for the hottest spots, yellow for those you sometimes like to have stroked, and red for those that just don't do if for you. While you categorise every inch of your erotic anatomy, you'll be focusing your mind on exactly where and how you want him to shower you with hands-on attention later.
Wear erotic undies
He just called to say he'll be over in an hour. Don't just sit there. Bust out your sexiest, silkiest lingerie. " Just putting it on will get your mind in the right place, and then all night you'll feel like a secret seducer," says Zoldbrod.
Steal guy' sex-ray vision

Dudes instinctively turn anything they look at into objects de lust. Take a tip from those dirty dogs and do the same. "The key is to relate to visuals in a way that's arousing for you," explains Paget. For instance, if you're stuck in traffic, don't just glance at that cutie in the next car take him in, slowly undress him mentally, wonder what he's like as a kisser, anything that gets you hot.

Get in touch with yourself
Block out Ben Stiller's disastrous pre-date masturbating in There's Something About Mary; giving yourself a hand before he shows up is a great way to start your engine. "Teasing yourself almost to climax will leave you longing for an orgasm when you and yhour man get it on," Says Keesling.